By: blondon87
Happiness diary, beautiful. And thank you for your words and sharing your experiences, they mean more than you know xxx :) By: Sarah
What an inspiring, thoughtful comment- thank you so much.
That initial period back "home" is really tough. So much transition. Though for me, it was definitely where I needed to be. I just needed nothing asked of me for a little while, time to rebalance- and I'm lucky I had a place to crash while I did that.
In another post I wrote about how you are NOT a failure. You mention feelings of worthlessness, I'm very sorry to hear this. I felt the same while I was in Sicily, before making the brave decision that the lifestyle wasn't for me, and changed it. Most people see that as failing- I didn't compete the contract, I let colleagues down, I lost out on a months salary... Ya de ya de ya. But I know it was right for me. I picked up a job just here in my hometown and it's nothing special but it's paying off my bills and providing savings for the rest of this year.
I really hope things start looking brighter for you, even if slowly. Like, I found first I started to wake up in the morning with a bit more energy, a bit lighter on my feet. A random person wished me a good day, it didn't actually rain for once! All these little things. Actually- I keep a happiness diary. It helps me when it all gets a bit much. Hugs to you my friend xxx By: blondon87
I've been battling the same emotions since I've been back in the States since Feb. after 8 months in Beijing and unlike you, i spent the first TWO months lying around. I have yet to find a job (out side of my writing career) and battle with feelings of worthless. But you seem to have more figured out than you give yourself credit for. The experiences you've had have been life changing, affirming, inspiring
and drain the HELL OUT YOU. Living an Expat lifestyle you learn so much at a rapid pace, and that can be emotionally, psychologically, mentally and physically draining, give yourself time to recover. you were gone for longer than you been back and you're probably a different person. And as far as figuring out what you want out of life, it's okay not to have all of the answers-I think we're all pretending a little bit in that area any way. As long as you aren't being a detriment to yourself and society trust that everything you need you already have inside you