This lesson I will share with you today I will NEVER forget for the rest of my life.
Do NOT use shampoos, gels, shaving foams, perfumes, wet wipes, moisturising creams, perfumed soap.. or anything SCENTED and/or SWEETENED on your lady parts. JUST STOP IT. It’s all well and good smelling of roses down there at the crucial moment, but is it worth the following week of BURNING? HEEEELLLLLL NO!
In addition, ANTIBIOTICS CAN MESS YOU UP DOWN THERE. Not joking. I had a throat infection a while back, must have caught it off some kid at school, so naturally, I went to the doctors and took my course of antibiotics. A few days later, holy hell. No literally, HELL. Firey, burning hell.
One good thing that came out of it all is I discovered how incredible bicarbonate of soda and warm water can feel. Oh, and if you’re going to put yogurt down there… make sure it hasn’t got sneaky hidden sweetener added to it….. good god *CRIES*.
The interesting thing about all of this is the timing.
While I was busy trying to smell like the Garden of Eden, I was also going through a period of intense low self-esteem, clingyness, paranoia, heck, I’ll admit, even obsession, with attracting male attention. You know the one guy who you just can’t seem to stop analysing and texting and waiting for his texts and waiting the appropriate amount of time to send texts back to his texts… and then analysing his texts.. yeah.
I literally couldn’t think or talk about anything else. My friends got BORED of me. I was attracting drama and stress into my life. I was letting a boy dictate how I FELT about myself. When he ignored me, I was hurt all day. When he showed interest, I was elated. Damn, it’s not right. You should feel elated EVERY SINGLE DAY. PUT DOWN THE PHONE.
So by some mystical intervention from the universe, a massive shift in focus took over me.
I couldn’t walk (oww burn!). Couldn’t sit (ooooooh sweet Jesus). Couldn’t sleep (MAKE IT STOP). Then as if that wasn’t bad enough, I had an allergic reaction to all the probiotics I was shoving down my throat and contracted a RED firey rash ALL OVER MY BODY. That’s right, every inch of my skin. The rash still hasn’t gone away, a week later. I LOOK LIKE A LEPER. I don’t want to leave my house. I’m not allowed in the sun.
My Easter Break of drinks by the beach – HA!- more like boxes and boxes of medication (which put me €50 out of pocket) confined to my home and trying to hold off having to pee for as long as possible.
Well, what did it teach me? Well the guy disappeared (not surprisingly). I was left feeling the least sexy I’ve ever felt in my life. I certainly didn’t want to hear from the guy- can you imagine? Not so much as a cup of tea from the prick.
*Bright light appears*..
I finally had the time, patience and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO to get back to writing. A list of ideas later, I’ve been writing continuously ever since. I feel more confident in myself, that I can TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, even in a foreign country with all my friends away for Easter break. I’ve completely lost interest in the guy who was only playing around with me anyway.
Have you ever felt a mystical, cosmic force intervene in your life? I know it’s easy to just blame all the shampoo, or the antibiotics, or the probiotics for my misfortune, but it’s the timing. The coincidence of it all. I NEEDED something to shake me up. To shift my focus. To guide me to where my time and energy should be used.
*This is part of my 2017 project to recall the lessons life throws at me so that 23 won’t just be another year like the others, but one of contemplation and growth. What have you learnt so far this year? Have you ever felt guided by timing? How has timing shifted your focus and shown you what you should be doing? Has a health issue ever held so much significance before?
