Okay, I texted goodnight, so I won’t text good morning- that’s like, so clingy. Two blue ticks?! No reply? He isn’t interested. He called me at 3AM to hang he totally likes me. Oh wait now he’s with his friends and ignoring me. Got to ignore him back. Can’t have sex straight away. Don’t want to seem like a slut. I must make him think I’m valuable. ‘Do you like me?’ he asks, hmmmm… don’t want to seem too easy. Must play hard to get, yes. ‘No, fuck off.’ Never heard from him again, oops.
Hahaha okay so I’m exaggerating a bit, but oh my goodddd, I’ve wasted so much time on freaking mind games. Not just with boys, but with friends, family, I’ve even tried in the classroom with unruly kids (maybe if I just sit here and stare at them, they’ll shut up?) and I’m so done with it.
Talk to people when you WANT to talk to them. Flirt with someone you actually LIKE. Say exactly what you MEAN, not some complex formula you expect them to work out. Stop analysing every single thing they’ve ever said to you for hidden clues. The irony is that the other person might not even realise they’re playing games. In regards to guys- he probably just genuinely lost interest in you (AND THAT’S OKAY!)
Getting worked up about it is completely destructive to your self-esteem and confidence, so just stop it.
Watch this guy talk about our insecurities and our desperate need to gain power.
Useful quotes discovered while googling the confusing nature of boys… (applies to us girls, too!)
“He’s not calling you because he’s calling someone else.” – fuck, I assumed he lost his phone
“He only texts you drunk because he doesn’t like you sober.” – that makes sense, we have absolutely nothing in common
“He’s not asking you for anything because you’ve already given him everything he wanted.” – just about sums it up really
“He doesn’t take you out on real dates because he doesn’t consider the two of you dating.”– so simple it never even crossed my mind
“If he treats you like he doesn’t want you, it’s because he doesn’t want you.” – read it twice, three times, four times… let it sink in. Then breathe, smile and move on.
“He plays you because he sees you as an option, not a priority.” – the more you believe he’s just not that into you, you’ll see how pointless it all is.
Don’t let yourself get distracted by this insanity. It’s toxic. Simply change the way you REACT to such situations. Care less about how you Seem. Be who you ARE.
You are a CATCH. You are absolutely lovely.
YOU ARE VALUABLE.
Make a shift in focus from chasing a person to chasing your dreams. Your self-worth is NOT determined by someone being interested in you.
*This is part of my 2017 project to recall the lessons life throws at me so that 23 won’t just be another year like the others, but one of contemplation and growth. What have you learnt so far this year? Do you find yourself participating in mind games? What is it distracting you from? What are you insecure about? Why do you need to Seem like you have power? Why do you worry so much about how you Seem? Dive deep… let me know what you discover. xx