It’s always soothing to have a label to put to your breakdown, especially when it concerns almost all 18-30 somethings. The Quarter-Life Crisis.
ARGH WHAT IS MY LIFE?
I feel like I’m floating through my days… I’M POOR don’t have so much as a wink let alone a husband and kids NO CAREER my life is a mess I DON’T OWN A SINGLE PIECE OF FURNITURE AND MY FRIENDS ALL HAVE MORTGAGES – all of these panic-ridden thoughts are completely normal.
We put constraints on ourselves to be somewhere by a certain point. Parents might add to the pressure, partners (or lack of), whatever your cool journalist/ TV presenter/ top lawyer friends are doing with their lives, and of course society in general.
I feel like my QLC will hit in full force this time next year, but my lovely friend freaked as her 25th birthday approached and then she was drunk, writing LOVE SARAH all over the walls of our local pub and crying in a heap by an ATM machine.
She was on the road, you know? The road to success. What happened? Where’s her house and three kids and why hasn’t she learnt how to bake yet?
She gently rested her hand on mine, looked me in the eyes and just said:
“Don’t do it Sarah. Don’t turn 25.”
That was a few months ago though and she’s feeling much brighter about her life now. How? Well, there comes a point when you’re just like: Wait. I fucking hate baking anyway. Mortgages suck. Children nag and need things. I LOVE my life, it’s just I was conditioned into thinking I shouldn’t.
Wake every morning and say, ‘Everything is as it should be.’
If you aren’t where you think you should be right now, I say good! What we think if often wrong. You shouldn’t be where you aren’t. You have lessons to learn right here, right now, which is why you’re right here, right now, and not leading some other life in some other place. Screw society, and besides, you’re probably going to live until you’re like 120, so you’ve got time.
I repeat: you have got time. Ample time! If you’re feeling pushed and pulled in different directions, the quarter-life crisis weighing you down, can’t sleep, too many thoughts, the pressure, and worry and DESPAIR… remember you are only obliged to do one thing right now.
Figure out who you are.
What do you want? What do you like? What are your triggers? What can you let go of? What’s your vision for your life? What are you HUNGRY for? What’s your MISSION STATEMENT? What does an incredible life mean to you?
Now take that energy and RIP YOUR LIFE OPEN!!! Not because you Should or it’s Expected or Society or your Mum or your FB feed full of babies: YOU. Right here, right now.
“Everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they’re not. They’re living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient.” – Julissa Loaiza
*This is part of my 2017 project to recall the lessons life throws at me so that 23 won’t just be another year like the others, but one of contemplation and growth. What have you learnt so far this year? Have you felt alone, worried or pressured during your 20s? Do you feel like you’re not where you Should be? Why do you feel that way? Could there be valuable reasons you’re HERE and not There? What steps are you going to take to get there?