Over and over again, 2017 keeps shoving things in my face and saying ‘Ha! Look what you don’t have!’. I find myself chasing what they have but then it turns out the people I thought had it all don’t even have half.
Take relationships. Over the last 3 months I’ve met couples, singletons, people in open relationships, folks with complications, people going through breakups, and it’s always the same.
First I think, god what a lovely couple, or, what a strong independent young woman she is, or, I wish I could be as open as them, or, I’m so jealous of their happiness’…. and then what happens? You see what a giant facade everyone puts up, and, more importantly, that every single person is fighting something.
The lovely couple actually haven’t had sex in 6 months, the strong independent woman has emotional issues and tries to find a sense of belonging through multiple lovers, the guy in the open relationship is terrified of getting hurt again, the couple who just bought a house together and selfie-ing all over FB are starting to feel trapped, the girl in the long-distance relationship who says everything is great has never felt more lonely in her life.
Are we all fucked? Is anyone actually happy, or do we just run around trying to be?
Don’t look at someone and say I WANT THAT WHY HAVEN’T I GOT THAT because you’re not seeing the whole picture. This applies to all aspects of life: careers, material possessions, lifestyle choices, family… the whole sha-bang. People look at my life and say, ‘god, it’s alright for some’. But do they really want a life like mine? Not having any family nearby? Losing your sense of identity? Never knowing where you belong?
Simply, want what you have. As my godmother always says, once you hear what everyone else is going through, you’d much rather keep your own shitty problems than have theirs.
Stop chasing what you think other people have. In fact, stop chasing what others DO have. Don’t let your idea of someone else’s life make your’s seem less full.
You have a full, rich life, simply because it’s yours.
NEVER compare the inside of your life with the outside of someone else’s.
*This is part of my 2017 project to recall the lessons life throws at me so that 23 won’t just be another year like the others, but one of contemplation and growth. What have you learnt so far this year? Do you see yourself chasing things that other people seem to have? Things your friends have? Things total strangers on their glamorous Instagrams have? Why do you want those things? What do you feel you’re missing in your own life? Did it occur to you that YOUR life is perfect to someone else?!